Admittedly, we both know I don’t have money to hide overseas. I’m too occupied with racking up credit card debt to even think about saving, let alone jumping through all the hoops it takes to get a Swiss bank account. I’m a busy person. I have episodes of Secret Diary of a Call Girl stacked up on my Tivo.

But hey, it could happen. I could find a bag of drug money, or blackmail a politician, or just start selling drugs myself. I’ve seen Scarface like twenty-seven times. The world is mine.

The one thing I could always count on is that if I did manage to get my hands on a bunch of cash that I didn’t want redistributed to the unwashed masses, I could hide it in a numbered account. As long as I wasn’t messing around with Nazi gold I was good to go. Until now.

You’re trying to pretend there’s still secrecy, but we both know that’s spin. Once you’re willing to divulge information about an individual account to a government, it’s game over. There’s already a line of potential jailbirds. When I have my next money laundering fantasy, I’ll guess I’ll have to turn to e-gold.